How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I don’t dislike non-fiction, per se, but it sure takes me awhile to get through it. The problem is that there’s no momentum in non-fiction – each section is as good (or as bad) as the last. Published in 1936, How To Win Friends And Influence People was one of the first best-selling self-help books. All self-help books should be so helpful and succinct:

 

3 Fundamental Techniques In Handling People

Never criticize.
Give genuine praise.
Arouse in others an eager want (to do what it is you wish they would do).

 

6 Ways To Make People Like You

Show genuine interest in other people.
Smile – people like those who are happy to see them.
Remember and use a person’s name.
Be a good listener; encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk about what the other person is interested in.
Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.

 

12 Ways To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

Avoid arguments.
Show respect for others’ opinions – never tell a man he is wrong.
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately (raise points they agree with first and they are more likely to agree with the rest of your points).
Let the other person do most of the talking.
Let the other person feel that the idea is theirs.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Appeal to the other person’s nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.

 

9 Ways To Change People Without Giving Offence Or Arousing Resentment

If you must find fault, begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes first before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other man save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Give a man a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct; make the thing you want the other person to do seem easy to do.
Make the other person happy to do the thing you want them to do.

 

7 Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier

Don’t nag.
Don’t try to make your partner over.
Don’t criticize.
Give honest appreciation.
Pay little attentions.
Be courteous.
Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.

 

Summary:

The sole purpose of this book is to help you solve the biggest problem you face: the problem of getting along with and influencing people in your everyday, business, and social contacts. It is the only one of its kind in existence – the only practical and immediately useful working handbook of guidance in both business and social life. It contains a proved, astonishingly successful method of dealing with people, based upon the author’s experience in conducting a laboratory of human relations in New York – the only laboratory of its kind in the world.

Advertisements